Tracy Morgan for Hillary Clinton

OK, it wasn't actually Tracy Morgan, but I was watching a bit of SNL's Best of Tracy Morgan sometime in the last week or two, and his impression of Maya Angelou was absolutely dead-on. So when I got Maya's robo-call last night on my answering machine, shilling for Hillary Clinton, it cracked me up again.

Listen here

Light One Up For Fred

I'm with Fred in the '08 South Carolina GOP Primary. In the current climate (dominated by the new castrati), any candidate with the balls to buy a cigar in front of cameras is worthy of my vote.

Now, next week when the Democrat Party pollsters and campaigners start ringing my phone 15-20 times a night, I'm actually going to pick it up and have some fun with them whenever possible. I am, of course, going to do what the good Democrat's did in New Hampshire: I'm going to tell them that I'm voting for Barry (you know... the black guy). But, unlike the New Hampshire Democrats, I'm not going to go in the voting booth (because I will have already voted...) and vote for the white woman who only got to where she is because her husband cheated on her. (Update: Just in case you were still wondering, Chris Matthews has no balls.)

Photo courtesy the Greenville News

Comments on Luminox Post

Anonymous left this comment on my previous post:

"Real men don't carry umbrellas.....or wear watches."

Well, a REAL man carries an umbrella so that the woman his is with....and he is with one a lot...does not get rained on.

As for wearing a watch, I give you this:




Chuck Norris has to wear a watch, because Chuck Norris likes to know how long you stayed airborne after he roundhouse kicked you in the face.

Stuff A Guy Really Needs: Luminox Model 822

I have an obsession with time. I don't know why, and I don't try to analyze it, except to think that it has something to do with being a chronic procrastinator. I have watches and clocks all over the place, and every once in a while I get fixated on one in particular.

The current object of my watch lust is the Luminox Model 822.

There's really nothing special about the watch itself, and I have a Citizen Eco-Drive that has the same functions and looks almost the same. So, as my wife always says, why do I want another watch? Because I can't stand not being able to see my watch in the dark. I remember when I was a kid, I had a watch where the hands would glow all night long, and I could set it on my nightstand and see it clearly. It didn't have that annoying backlighting that digital clocks have, and I didn't have to press a button to make it light up. I just looked over and it was there. Simple and effective. It glowed all night because it had radioactive material painted onto the hands and numbers that gave off it's own greenish light.

Well, somewhere along the line they stopped using the radioactive stuff and went to a bioluminescent paint which glows for a certain period after being exposed to light. How long it glows, apparently, is determined by how thick the paint is applied. Cheaper watches have less paint. Anyway, most of the watches I have glow for a couple of hours or so, and since I usually wake up around 3 a.m or so, this is no good. There is a new paint callled SuperLuminova that is supposed to glow brighter and longer, but I want one that, basically, will be glowing when I pull it out of a drawer after it's sat there in the dark for three days. I mean, what if I got caught in a mine cave-in? True, it's unlikely, but it could happen. I'd be screwed.

Then I found the Luminox, which is one of the more inexpensive watches that still use self-powered (radioactive) luminescence. On each hand and at each hour marking, there is a micro-tube containing tritium gas. The gas gives off it's own light and is guarranteed to glow continuously for twenty five years. Other manufacturer's use this technology, but the watches are much more expensive. Luminox offers models down to $179.

The Luminox Model 822 has just taken the Number 1 spot on my "got to have it" list.

In the Spirit

There was a time when, during the Christmas season, I didn't fully get in the spirit until I heard 'Feed the World' on the radio. I distinctly remember a Christmas Eve a few years ago that I literally said to myself: "It's Christmas, and I have yet to hear Bono croon Well, tonight, thank God it's them, instead of you."

That was before 24 hour radio stations playing Christmas music 25 hours a day. Before the ipod. Before xm radio. Now, there is not a time during the day that I can't hit a button and get a fix of the sounds of the season. I actually did synch up some of my favorite tunes on the ipod yesterday. They are the ones I never hear on the radio, so I wanted to make sure they were accessible when needed:

Fairytale of New York by the Pogues
Merry Christmas from the Family by Robert Earl Keen
Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight) by the Ramones
You're All I Want for Christmas by Jump, Little Children

Maybe a few others just for good measure. Heck, I think I'll even need to download 'Feed the World' again if I want to hear it this year.

But, yes, I am in the spirit. Why? Because for the second year in a row, getting elfed is what provides untold internet minutes of Christmassy entertainment.

I highly suggest you go get elfed yourself.

That bit of elfen magic shows that even a couple of two-bit dictators and a dead "revolutionary" can provide that certain holiday spark needed at this time of year for some. If making fun of those lefty heroes offends you...

Merry Christmas!!

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You're Being Mapped

On the road again for a soccer tournament this weekend, and pulled into the hotel parking lot and saw an interesting vehicle. No, not interesting in that it was a real, live hydro-carbon fueled SUV. Cool because of the thing-a-ma-jigs all over it's roof.



That's a pretty dark picture. Maybe if they haven't headed out before me in the morning, I'll grab a better one. But, you've no doubt seen the street view option in Google Maps. Looks like Microsoft is getting into the game with Windows Live Local. Check it out here.

Cum on Feel the Noize

Kevin Dubrow

Just read about the passing of Kevin Dubrow of Quiet Riot fame, and it reminded me of a shot or two that I got of him when they played in Greenville last year.

I believe it was the first time I saw them live. I do remember, though, when Mental Health came out and it was pretty huge. All of my metal friends were going to see Iron Maiden in Atlanta at the time, and QR was the opening band.

Bang Yer Hed

Vanity of Humanity

I don't think I'm supposed mention that today is "blog action day" and that that is the reason for my post. You're supposed to just come to the blog formerly known as Low Rollin' for your daily stimulation, and have an activist seed planted in your mind heart. The topic for today's blog action is the environment. Blogs of all stripes are encouraged to write about anything to do with the environment. Of course, the instigators of Blog Action Day surely assume that the usual drivel about "saving the Earth" and whatnot will be written about. You know, a continuation of the slow drip, drip, drip indoctrination of the whacko, lame-brained environmentalist chicken-littles.

That's not how I roll.

So, the former Vice President and Biggest LOSER of the 2000 election had to do something with his life, so he decided to take some boring slide-show about the horrors of fossil fuels and and CFC's on the road. At some point, a documentary film-maker made a movie out of said boring slide show. Boring slide show made into documentary eventually made it to theaters and was the toast of the intellectual elite and Democrat Party fund-raisers. It won trophies at Cannes and the Academy Awards. No surprises there.

Then (and this is really no surprise either), boring slide show presenter was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, sharing it with some "United Nations committee on the global warming crisis." No surprise, really, since the Nobel committee has pretty much cemented their legacy of "Peace Prizes" by awarding them to people like Yassar Arafat and Jimmy Carter. Who next? A post mortem prize to Che Guevara? What a joke. Thankfully, there are some smarter people out there, un-willing to drink the Kool-Aid of the moonbat Left.

So to do my little part on the subject of the environment, I make a pledge to you, dear reader. Starting today, until the 2008 Nobel Peace Prize is awarded, I will not recycle a damn thing in my household. Mind you, I did it voluntarily. I had a box in the garage where all the newspapers, magazines, various cardboard boxes, etc. were collected, then I dutifully trudged them down to the local recycling drop-off. Heck, there were even times when there was a plastic bottle or two that went along for the ride.

No more, my friends.

It all goes in the trash can, straight to the landfill.

Happy Blog Action day to you.

Warmest Regards,
AxeMan

*Update*
Today was trash day at Casa d'Axe. You know what that meant:


The word for today is: Liberating